tired

Today sucked! The students ruined a fun project I had planned. Then a girl decides to get up during class and kill a spider across the room. I also threw a tantrum of my own by crumpling up the paper for the project and throwing it away. I also ended up confusing them when I tried to explain the quantum numbers. Ugh! I've also had a headache for a while now. Woooooohoooooo.

I did go on an impromptu date with my boyfriend. It was tons of fun! The movie Couple Retreat was pretty funny.

Ok going to bed now. Goodnight!

bed

Super tired. My prof comes in tomorrow to grade me for my mid point evaluation. Work was fun thanks to nicki! I love working with my friends! Worried about the changes happening at work. Supposedly they are getting rid of a lot of workers. Not good news. Well wish me good luck tomorrow. Ill need it! Atomic orbitals... Ugh! Ok goodnight

day off

This morning I woke up at 6 am because my boyfriend didn't correctly set the alarm. So I got up on my day off and drove him about a hour away to his university. I sit there for 3 hours and watched the old tv series Dinosaurs. Then we headed back home to discover that my car's ac has stopped working. We stopped to check the fuse box but of course it started raining. Then we couldn't get the defroster to work. It was great fun. I decided we should go to Applebees for buffalo wing appetizers. However, we didn't mention we wanted appetizers and wouldn't you know it, they have a $15 meal option. So our $12 lunch became $35. Wooooohoooooo! Didn't properly budget for that but we went ahead to HEB and grabbed the stuff to make pumpkin and pecan pies. We also grabbed some stuff for pork chops. The first pecan pie was ruined because I had grabbed the baker's vanilla extract which only requires half of the recipe amount. The pies didn't turn out correctly, pecan pie was cooked too long and the pumpkin pie wasn't cooked long enough. I used beer, season all, and italian dressing on the pork chops. 2 in beer and 2 in the italian dressing. They turned out pretty good. Now I'm relaxing with the remaining bottle of beer I used for seasoning. ;) what a day!

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So this weekend has flown by for me. I guess that's not really good because the weekends are my 'down time' of only 8 hour shifts. But, it was awesome working this weekend. The managers at my retail store finally did something right, they moved one of my best friends to my department! So now I work with both of my best friends! YAY!!!!! I never have time to hang with them outside of work but atleast I'll get to hang with them while I work. It's not the best time but I'll take it. We have a blast together. We'll seriously laugh about one statement all day long. Not to mention the fact that both of them are extremely intelligent. YAY!!! I'm really happy about this new situation. I think it will improve my mood and give me an extra pep in my step. YAY!!!!


On a side note, tomorrow I'm off! Not just from one job but both. No, really! YAY!!! I haven't decided if I'm actually going to do all the things I've set up for myself: cook, bake, research for electron configuration lesson, etc. or just lounge around the house and sleep. The point is that I have a choice! YAY!! My boyfriend also has off tomorrow so I'm thinking about attempting my second meal. What I mean is that I have only cooked one home made meal and that was 5 yrs ago. It was a success so I figured I'd go out on top by not making another one. However, my boyfriend has really helped me through A LOT these few months from tending to the dog to staying the night with me in the hospital, and I would really love to do something special for him. Problem is that I'm not sure if I have the drive to cook a meal or even if I have the talent. Don't want to to surprise him with a meal that tastes like burnt rubber. Maybe I'll just sleep in and buy him some ice cream instead.

Final thoughts: work sucks less with awesome friends present and I have tomorrow off. Oh and did I mention... YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!

Comment

I generally post my blog in the car on my cell phone when I'm riding to or from work. For some reason, I can't find all the options or settings on my phone to further my blogging experience for example comments seem impossible for me. Therefore, tonight I am going to post a blog about my comments or lack thereof. First of all, THANK YOU! Your encouraging words and witty banter have really helped me through this first month of student teaching. You really have no idea how much I appreciate it! No, really! And as for commenting on the blogs I follow let me give a couple words to each.

Rachel: I'm so happy you've overcome your writer's block! I can't wait to read Layla's story again. Yay!!!

Nicki: It's awesome that your store is taking off! I really am glad that I can read your blog and get some insight on crafting and the 'in' thing.

BookishBrunetter: #1-I love the name! ;) Reading your posts really helps. Sorry but for some reason knowing that you have the same issues with school makes me feel better. Hope mine helps you in that same way. Your helpful tips are also great! Now if I could only find someone to make me a screwdriver... Hmmm

In conclusion, I love your blogs and I can't wait to read your thoughts tomorrow. <3

TGIF

Since I've been out of high school, I haven't actually looked at the weekend and thought TGIF. Mostly because work is all weekend long so my days were better on those few days during the week when I only worked part time. Now, however, I look forward to the weekend because it promises sleep until 10 am and 8 hrs of mind numbing repetitive (sp?) work. The only thing that makes this weekend bad is well that I work but also that I've developed a head cold or allergies or something. I'm unbalanced on my feet due to sinus pressure. Yes I'm going to take meds as soon as I decide to stop and look for some. The great thing about this weekend is it will last three days! That's right kiddos certain school's get Columbus Day off. YAY! So in conclusion work still sucks, I feel like crap, and we salute you Columbus for without you I would still be getting dressed at 6 am on Monday... Oh and of course for the finding of the 'New World.'

too blah to come up with a title (don't read if you're in a good mood)

So I know it has to be super depressing to read my blog. All that I seem to write about is how much I hate grading or how tired I am. I'd love to write about the awesome day I had off or the fun time I had with my friends or even that I caught up on all the laundry but I can't. My life has become nothing but grades, ungrateful brats, stupid people, my hell hole of a job, and sleep. That's it. When I see my friends it's at work and they're usually sick or in a bad mood cause our jobs suck. The days that they are in awesome spirits are the days that I see them for 15 mins and I'm in too bad of a mood to even lift my head. I'm really starting to feel awful. My allergies have been kicking my butt and I've been in such an awful mood that my boyfriend has sought help from his friends on 'why I'm mad at him.' It's just that I have monday and wednesday nights off from my job but those nights I have to make sure everything's graded or I just fall asleep. I see no one but my boyfriend and sometimes I don't even see him. I come home on monday and wednesday, change out of my clothes, eat something, grade something, and fall asleep at 7 or 8. Now I'm not sure if my body is just that tired or if my thyroid is really dying to the point that my energy is non-existent or maybe I'm starting to get depressed. I just know that I don't like the way this is all going. I'm arguing with my boyfriend about how I never see him but we live together. I see him everyday. Am I going crazy? Then sometimes when I am at work and there's people around all I can think about is being alone. And sometimes when I am at home all I want is to be around my friends. It's now getting to a point that when I'm at school and work I want to strangle someone and when I'm at home I want to crawl in a hole to escape. See I'm a really happy person. Most people would, or use to, describe me as peppy. Now I'm just tired and boring and blah. Everyday I wake up wishing that today was tomorrow. I'm wasting days by hoping that I'll be less tired, have less work, or somehow escape from now if I could just get in reach of tomorrow. Sad thing is: most of the time tomorrow is just as bad. Sorry for the depressing post. And no I don't need anyone to feel bad or sorry for me. The reason I wrote this is because writing my feelings helps me rationalize and explore myself and since this blog is about my experience as a student teacher and 30 hr/wk retail associate I figured I might as well have this down to display part of the experience thus far. Who knows, maybe there's another teacher out there who will feel better just knowing that someone else is struggling with them.

Work: hell with a meditation garden

So I hate my job. That is to say I hate the job that I actually get paid for. The managers never have any concern for you unless it somehow can damage them. My friends have asthma and can't breathe due to construction work so mgmt tells them to pretty much deal or put in their 2 wks. But, I got the flu, possibly swine flu, which is extremely contagious and they are all about me going home. See if they can get hurt then they'll work to fix it but if it's a personal problem well then who cares. Another problem I have with mgmt, they aren't fair. If you suck up or have a good, sexy figure then you're set. Promotions, pay increases, the best jobs, time off, and priority over everything is yours. Yeah I know life's not fair but I got to say I'm tired of it. Although I hate my job there is one great thing about it right now: I'm working alone. Usually I want to be around a ton of ppl but I've noticed that when I work alone I seem to go home in a better mood then I did when I came to work. That's not to say I don't love working with a few of my co-workers. I do! It's just for those few hours I'm alone. I'm never alone anymore. It gives me time to reflect. It's like my own meditation garden but with stupid people. If only I could get rid of the customers and maybe get a radio...

The other thing is that I love having days off with my boyfriend. I never see him even though we practically live together.I'm actually pretty jealous of how all my friends and him get to ride together to school. I miss seeing/spending time with all of them! Maybe when I finish this student teaching I'll have time to hang out with them. I hope so anyways.

Good or Bad?

Just received an email from my supervising teacher. He's not coming to evaluate me until next week. I'm happy that it's been postponed but I really wish he wasn't going to judge me based on the next lesson, electron configuration. This seems like an extrememly hard concept to teach and I'm not at all thrilled that this is the week he's chosen. Oh well!
On a side note: I can tell how tired my body is. I went to watch Toy Story Double Feature in 3D with my boyfriend yesterday. The movie started at 7:10 and had a 15 min intermission between them, so that the second movie started at about 9. Before the second movie started I realized that my eyes were actually crossing. The only thing I could attribute this to was that I was tired. Needless to say I slept through the whole second movie. I've never slept through a movie! I didn't even realize I was tired until I couldn't stop crossing my eyes. My body must be taking a real beating due to the waking up early, going to teach, going to work, staying up to grade, preparing for tomorrow, and finally sleeping. I do think it's odd that my eyes had to cross before I realized how tired I was. Maybe I'm going to much or maybe my thyroid is really starting to die or maybe my body's stupid and decided two movies were just one movie too much to focus on. I don't know. The important thing was that I had fun! It was nice doing a 'date' thing where there was no kids, grades, or customers. Might have to make it a weekly thing. ;)

ugh

Sorry I didn't post yesterday but honestly it would've just depressed you so be glad I didn't. Today is pajama day at the high school. I settled on wearing an old t-shirt from my high school volley ball playoffs. The date? 2003. Now I'm wondering how many of these kids will be looking and the date and thinking wow I was in elementary. Maybe it'll get them thinking I'm old and they'll start freaking listening. (Not holding my breath!) My prof will be coming in this week to study my lesson, but I really think this week is a terrible week to look at my teaching. It's over the organization of the periodic table. So it goes as follow: here is the periodic table and in this spot is metals, nonmetals, metalloids, and transition metals. Ok now color your table. Yea I'm for sure this is going to get me an A. Honestly some things are just boring and factual. Not like I can throw out a bunch of examples or fun twists. Well hopefully they'll stay awake or atleast sleep without the snoring.

Grading: Projects

First, let me apologize for yesterday's post. Looking back, I was pretty upset and used really poor grammar. Sorry about the misspellings too. Now onto today's post.

I remember getting projects and thinking 'this is way too much work for one stupid grade' or 'she (my teacher) just wants to give us busy work and grade something that takes no thinking.' Basically I was a high school student. Now, I still think this is too much work but for a different reason... GRADING. I spent 30 minutes grading one student's brochure on being forensic chemist as a career. I graded it 5 different times before I finally settled on an 80 something. I'm just a poor grader when it comes to projects. I don't want to give a bad grade because honestly it is a lot of work but half of them seem to put no work into it. It goes against my nature to look at something creative and say it's not good enough. Yes there were a few brochures that I had no problem grading as a 45 but mostly I just tortured myself. Ugh! I remember why I chose this career, helping someone move forward and maybe even alter their life, yet each day I question myself. Maybe it's a good thing... or maybe I should re-think grad school.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

What is wrong with people these days? Kids are cussing out principals and parents are backing them up? However, I give a kid a 90 on a stupid project and all of a sudden I've found myself in a meeting at the vice principal's office with my supervising teacher, assistant principal, and the parent who doesn't understand why her child didn't get 6 extra points. Did I mention the whole she already has an A thing???? Not only that but I've found that there is one class that every time I open my mouth the supervising teacher always, ALWAYS contradicts what I say. I tell the class 'Use significant digits' and five seconds later she says 'Ya'll shouldn't be using significant digits on this paper just go to the second decimal place.' Then, I am explaining the correct equation to use to find the answer and she interrupts me to tell them a different equation. Problem is that equation solves for the wrong answer. What about when I'm actually giving a lecture over respect and the zero amount that I receive from my class and she opens her mouth to tell them 'When I'm not here Ms. Smith* has the same amount of authority as I do.' UGH! I needed her to just sit there and listen not interrupt me to say something that implies that while she's in the classroom then I have no authority. Then I had a student who just walks out of class after wasting the entire period being disruptive. Seriously? You couldn't just average the mass of 10 pennies? No, you have to be a nuisance all class period and then get pissed off and walk out. LACK OF RESPECT! I'll tell you what needs to happen. Parents need to stop making stupid excuses for their kids and maybe discipline them so that when another adult tells them to do something they don't get cussed out or punched or shot at. Maybe the parents should just stay out of it and let the teacher's raise their kids with the option of discipling them too 'cause honestly this whole you-raise-them-until-I-decide-I-want-to-take-the-reins-back thing is a little annoying... Just saying.



*Alias name to protect my anonymity

Late Work is Minus 15

Ok I deserve a F. How dare I not blog! However, like in any classroom setting, I would like to give an excuse for my late work. I went to work at 10 AM and didn't get off until 7. Still plenty of time to blog right? WRONG! I had been working on my lesson plans for next week during each break and lunch but I still had to type them. I didn't finish until 3:30 AM. Yes I had a whole 7 hrs before work but for some reason I really felt like a little sleep would do me some good. Anywho sorry!

Grading Tests = A Whole Roll of Tums

So what's more disappointing then taking a test and failing? Having your students take a test and fail. In high school I was the girl that only made A's. I cried the first time I saw a B on one of my daily grades but I never received below 91 on my report card. I couldn't believe it the first time I made a C on my Pre-AP Calculus test. I went home and absorbed all I could. I even called the teacher. I felt terrible! Now I'm preparing to work at the retail store and all I can think about is that class with an avg of about 50-60 on their first test. Did I not tell them something correctly? What was I thinking going through everything so quickly. Maybe I should have been louder or asked more questions or wrote more down or made them write more down or given more homework or quizzed more or not done that lab or... Yea I'm definitely not happy right now. I let them take a 10 question retest but they missed from 2-5 problems and I even stood in front of them before handing out the test and gave them the exact information they needed. Maybe I should work on getting my Masters and let someone else handle the upset stomach and migraine filled grading.

You Rock!!!

So I've noticed something ... people do not praise others enough. Today I told some of the kids 'Wow you're doing such a great job! Ya'll are so smart!' A girl in the group looked at me and asked 'Are you being serious?' How does someone so young hear so many negative things that they don't believe one positive statement??? I think its extremely important to let someone know if they are meeting/exceeding your expectations. It seems like we always notice the negative things but never discuss the good. When was the last time you mentioned that great thing your husband, children, sibling, or co-worker did? Now, when was the last time you yelled at them? See what I mean? For example, I worked with two different classes using the same lab. The first teacher told me I did a great job and he loved the way I walked around and talked to the students. This calmed me down and gave me confidence in my abilities. The second teacher pointed out four things I did wrong and had nothing positive to say. My confidence went right down the toilet. Moral of the story is let people know you appreciate their hard work. People want to feel good about themselves and if you let them know they are doing a good job they will work harder to keep that satisfactory feeling of worthy praise. Till next time then!

If I'd Only Known

So school has been in session for 2 weeks and already I'm ready to sleep during the cooperating teacher's lesson. I wake up for school at 6 AM and get back from school at about 4:30 PM. Then I work in a retail store from 5:00 PM until 9:00 PM. After this I work on homework and lesson plans and finally head to bed. EXHAUSTED is not even close to how I feel by the end of the day. I've also been given the privilege of teaching all of the chemistry classes starting next week and I'm freaking out. I have no idea if I can keep going. Honestly I think doing alternative certification would have been a better idea. Only problem with that route is what if I hate teaching and I'd be on contract for atleast a year. On the other hand I'd be getting paid for teaching so I wouldn't have to work two jobs and would probably have more sleep. It might be too early to tell but I think I've made a bad choice. On a different note I love my students. Their annoying and rowdy and so much fun. I'm hoping that I figure this teaching thing out so I can keep meeting new bright kids who are too young to know what the real world will do to them. Well tomorrow I will be teaching so it's time for bed. Hopefully I'll be more inspiring tomorrow. :)

Beginnings

First of all let me explain why I'm here. I'm currently student teaching and working about 30 hrs per week. Since I'm going to be needing some type of stress relief I thought I would write and share my limited knowledge with the world. I'm not going to include my name or my school just in case something is said that might upset the masses. Now let the posting begin!